On marriage and relationships

Yeah yeah, who am I to speak of either of these when I lack experience, I know I know. But let’s talk reason here. Are you ready? Let’s do this.

Marriage – the phenomena that unspeakably fails..

In Egypt (and in many other places but I speak of Egypt because I’ve seen it) there are two “types” of marriages: arranged and love. Both of which put too much financial stress on the groom and his family, but we’re not on about this now.

Arranged marriages or gawaz el salonat are ones that parents have the initiative in. So basically the mother’s friend’s friend has a cousin who they think will be compatible with you so they decide to have a mini gathering. So they sit you down and tell you to be nice and polite to see the suitor. Do they ask you if you WANT to get married? Pssht, of course you do. Even if you don’t want, you do. You have to want to get married. It’s your job in life. Of course when you say later on that you’re not compatible they blame you for not making that clear from the start and you’ve now caused major awkwardness between the mother’s friend’s friend’s cousin and your mother.

IF, and  that’s a bit unlikely, you want to be married in an arranged way, good for you sister! Maybe this guy will be yours in the end. Let’s hope he was in favour of the idea too.

If  you want to have a love marriage, read on till the relationships section.

If you’re independent and choose not to waste your precious life on drama (THANK YOU), then you’re pretty sane if you ask me. Can you stand a day without your parents? Or your mom’s yummy food? or your dad spoiling you all the time?
Honestly I can’t. I can’t stand the thought of having to drag someone into my decisions or seek approval before anything. What if I suddenly decide to travel alone? Or spend a few days relaxing somewhere? Or move and live in another city? Or Just.. space. Talk about suffocating. What if you discover he has the most annoying habits ever? Habits that you didn’t know about during your engagement.
Not to mention having to deal with his family. They’re annoying. 90% of the time. Like it or not, you will be missing quality time with your parents because you’re with you’re partner’s side. WHY? Why do you want to go through this? When you could be having the comfort food of your life in the middle of the night with movies on and messy hair.
I’ll skip fights and disagreements because they could potentially happen anywhere, but do I really need to waste my time in fights when I could be not fighting in the first place?
And then the main reason why marriage is such a bummer. Career. Most of the time, it goes down the drain once your married. Add kids to the recipe, and any chances of progress are null.Of course exceptions happen but generally nah. Any dreams or priorities that you had will be reorganized to suit your married life. Again, I say why?
I think marriage is crippling in so many ways and on so many levels.
Oh and by the way, nothing lasts, so by the time you’re married with old kids, you would’ve lost enthusiasm towards each other. I mean you’ve been together for more than a decade. Expect boredom at some point.
Read this conversation between a man and a woman. It basically sums everything up.

As for you love birds who claim that your love will last a lifetime and that your marriage will be blissful, I hate to burst your bubble. Many people fail after marriage because they bump into real life experiences that love can’t do anything about.
(Oh and please, it disgusts me to watch you hold hands and be all lovey-dovey in public. Cut it out. It’s pollution)
Let’s say you’re a mature couple who want to get married. If her parents are flexible and understanding enough, the finances will be shared, everything might go well, but I mean after reading what I said earlier are you still eager for laundry and cooking and running a house?

Last but not least, 6 reasons why being in a relationship sucks:
1- The one and only, freedom.
Don’t try to convince me that you own your time and space. Your partner has some demands and some dos and don’ts. Before disappearing off for weeks, you at least need to let him know. It’s sad, eh?
2- It wastes your time
You’re either texting them, on the phone with them, out with them, or planning something that has to do with them. You could be sleeping, eating, out and about, doing all your hobbies,  studying to get to college or graduate from it. Just saying.
3- Fights
In the beginning it’s just cute fights and one of you is jealous etc.. But it gets unbelievably suffocating later. And it sucks your energy, wastes your time and makes you miserable.
4- Disappointment
Everything has the potential to happen. Yeah, you trust your partner, but you never really know what’s happening behind the scenes.
5-Worrying
Constantly wanting to know where they are and having to take care of them if they’re sick or thinking of the future or any insecurities that pop up in the middle.
6- Compromise
It’s inevitable. Some way or another you will have to do it. (OR you could be single and have it all your way)

ANYWAY, whether you’re single or not, have a nice life but this is just me and what I think.

Manuscript writing, college and unfinished to-do lists

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*Rubs hands together*

Right, so let’s start with the happy news because I intend to make this post an optimistic one.
Writing a book is so very different than blogging or writing short pieces because I’m getting the chance to give my characters dimension and character that sort of is supposed to develop throughout the plot.
So it’s not like what I do on Tumblr or like any short story I’ve ever written. I dream of getting something published and out to the world, although I didn’t have any training on the technicalities of story telling and manuscript writing before so I feel that a lot of things lack in my current writing. Nevertheless, I do my very best to write a portion every week. Speaking of doing my best, the courses I’m taking this semester are purely engineering so it’s kind of crippling because I barely have time for anything. Just saying.

But again, this is an optimistic post, so engineering and its ugliness aside.

I’ve also been brainstorming recently about bicycle lanes and trying to market the use of bicycles in Cairo to minimize traffic.

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This quote that I came across was the turning point because I’m one of those people who complained of traffic without realizing that I’m one of the causes of it. (Yes, I take the bus to AUC but still, eventually I get from point A to B via a car)
So at this moment, I’m not doing much other than observation. (If you took a creativity & problem solving course you’d know what I’m saying) haha.

I’ve also learned a new craft which is bracelet-making, and so this is one of  the highlights because it’s really fun and looks super cute when it’s finished. I have one in front of me which is halfway finished because again, college happened.

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The not-so-happy news is that I don’t have time for a lot of reading nowadays so I keep them for vacations or just procrastinate them till after I graduate or something.

Iteration #19 : The Two Spheres – Shine or Learn?

This is what I’ve actually wanted to write about.
Although I’m surrounded by geniuses I’m not very challenged because I have this constant insecurity that I won’t reach their level. However, if I’m surrounded by people who are less shiny, it gives me some motivation and it pushes me to shine more and perfect whatever I’m doing.

#Iteration

There are 2 distinct spheres. The “I-Shine-because-I-am-surrounded-by-people-less-shiny-than-myself” sphere versus the “I-play-defensive-and-learn-everyday-because-I-am-surrounded-by-Geniuses” sphere.

At this very moment in your life, in which sphere would you like to be, and which one are you really in?

If picking the Shining sphere seems to be the right move : staying in your comfort zone will keep you Shiny, you’ll be the best, but for how long? How will you fuel your motivation, without any higher goals to reach? Can you create and keep creating challenges? Leadership will be handy here.

If picking the Geniuses Sphere was your first idea : you’ll play defensive, you won’t try to shine too quickly because you know these Geniuses will take you down easily. But you will learn, and you will be surrounded by knowledge and motivation. You are one of them and you will be constantly challenged. Follower’s skills will make you shine here, at least until…

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Beginning of semester vibes

A normal college student would think the beginning of the semester would mark the beginning of  fresh start.. Or newly joined clubs/activities or meeting new people. Or whatever. But it would mean SOMETHING to them.

This semester started with facing a whole new wave of registration dilemmas. Like every semester, finding a place in classes is virtually impossible. I’m not applying into new clubs/NGOs since they aren’t any appealing and if you’re an Electronics engineer then that’s another reason. I’ve seen the very close friends that I have already before the semester began, I’ve had a fabulous refreshing summer – read previous post – and everything is pretty perfect.

I’m NEVER this pessimistic but as soon as I look at my schedule and remember the courses I’m doing this semester, I’m flooded with emotions of exasperation. The fact that I’ll be waking up early, coming home late with tonnes to do just makes my heart sink. Honestly, is everyone like me? Or is it just me?

Would I have felt any better if my courses all started/ended with the word writing? Or the type of assignments that I had to do involved reading classics, or reflecting on published stuff.

I honestly don’t know, and I don’t want to. Maybe it’s the dread that comes along at the beginning of each semester and just subsides when my endurance level grows midterm after midterm after midterm.

So for now, I’ll just resort to saying that I really HOPE that it’s a temporary feeling of unease that’ll go away with time.

On another note, writing contests coming up – so yay.

AND finally blogging on Tumblr after making an oath to bring it back to life. Haha.