Oouff it’s getting dusty here…
*rubs hands together* Right
How do I start such posts without sounding obnoxious?
Let’s start with establishing some basics:
Humor is nice, it’s actually one of the most attractive characteristics a person can own. People like to be around a person who is generally light-hearted and can make them laugh.
Studies have shown that the most influential people possess a sense of humor. (I just invented that-gottcha!)
What I mean to say is we don’t like to be around dull people.
I say dull people do not exist in this world. There’re people who are capable of revealing their character more than others, but no one has an event-less, humor-less, unattractive persona.
You’re probably thinking now, “Ayah, get to the point.”
So without further ado
I’ve noticed that some parents in Egypt (or maybe in other places too) put a lot of emphasis on their kids to mingle with others and have a strong social life. Before you attack, let me elaborate.
I’ve always been an ‘introvert’; I say very little and I’m mostly on the listening end of 95% of the conversations I’m involved in. Yes, even with the people I’m close to. Settings with numbers of people where everyone is chit-chatting and talking are uncomfortable for me, not because I fear people, but because I have nothing to say to these large numbers of people. Rephrase: nothing I say will interest all these people in one go.
So I resort to making mini conversations with one or two of the people who are seemingly like me – if I find. Oh and by the way, this doesn’t mean I can’t be humorous. (I mean, I’m not the best person when it comes to humor, but I know a few introverts who are great at making people have good laugh)
My parents on the other hand are always urging me to “go”, to “mix and mingle” and become part of such crowds. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. I’m saying if I prefer smaller conversations, then that should be fine. If I don’t feel like being part of a crew, that should be fine too.
Having said that I’m a person who talks little, it could be inferred that what comes out of my mouth in these rare occasions is not trivial. It’s either an experience that means something to me, or a question that I’m genuinely wondering about, or a compliment about an interesting fact, you get it. If a gathering is full of people who are talking about things that seem meaningless in my perspective, then I should be free to get up and leave. And I think this freedom is often misunderstood.
If I don’t want to go to parties, or sit with a crew who are talking about meaningless (in my view) topics, or making jokes at the expense of someone, or being straight up shallow, that shouldn’t deem me depressing, dull or old-style.
People have different interests, and so there shouldn’t be pressure on anyone to be part of a group which has completely dissimilar interests.
This probably contradicts the “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” motto.
Re to this: I should be free to choose when and how I want to get out of my comfort zone, and the type of change I want to invoke in my life. Also, what addition will I gain when I sit with a bunch of people who make me think to myself: “Does this even deserve to be a topic of discussion?”? (Other than confirming with myself that tastes and interests are sliding down)
What defines interesting or fun is very individualistic and subjective, and the mainstream does not get to make that choice despite their popularity.
P.S. I got the post title inspiration because I just finished the book “Becoming Jane Austen” and coincidentally came across the movie ” Becoming Jane” – which was made out of the book and, by the way, is a horrid movie. (I liked the book)